4 Tips for New Dads: Nurture Your Partner

There's a saying: "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

I used to think it was just funny, until having kids. Now I see the truth in it.

When a woman is pregnant and her body is working overtime, she'll love it if you take the time to nurture her. A lot of first-time fathers don't fully understand the changes that are happening to their partner, and it can be tough to remember to take the time to nurture and embrace her.

Picking up after yourself will help, but I'm really not talking about the house...

I'm talking about your partner and her needs.

4 Nurturing Tips for New Dads

1. Touch her. Give her a massage, even if you only have fifteen minutes. Starting with the neck and upper back, move to working on her hips and the back of the pelvis, and end with a foot rub. You don't need massage experience for this, just some strong hands, some willingness, and some love. For extra points, heat some water for a foot bath, add a couple of drops of lavender oil, or rose petals if you've got them, and let her soak her feet while you listen to how her day went. If you listen to her, she'll listen to you. It works both ways.
2. Make some pregnancy or nursing tea for her every day. Use 1 part nettles, 1 part alfalfa, 2 parts raspberry leaf, and peppermint to taste (1/4 part). Let it steep for 10 minutes, strain and serve with honey. Make it a ritual, a way to connect with that little bean of yours growing inside her. The tea nurtures her body, and the act will nurture your relationship. I have always made it for my wife in the evening, and we can share how our days went and sip tea together.
3. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her you love her. Tell her that she's radiant. Say thank you for being the mother of your child. You could even try to tell her that you like her outfit, but you're on your own there... I think every woman wants to hear her lover tell her she's beautiful, and by telling her that when she's pregnant, you will do wonders for your relationship.
4. Read the birth books and parenting and pregnancy books that she's been reading, so you can be in the know about all of the changes that are a part of this miracle. I enjoyed reading Spiritual Midwifery, and found that I spent more time looking at the reference stuff in the back than the stories in the front. I wanted to know it happened, and what and when to expect things during birth. I wanted details. My wife wanted to know experiences and feelings and stories. If you both read them, you'll have a reference. You'll speak the same language. And that's half the battle in any relationship.

I have learned that it takes an effort to remember to do these things regularly, but when I do, it makes for a happy, peaceful house, pregnancy, and marriage. Put it on your work calendar, email yourself, or put it on your to-do list- "Nurture the mother of my child. Next action: Make tea and give backrub."

Show her that you cherish her every day, meet her needs, and you'll find that yours will be met as well.