A Little Tiny Joke

Warning: May not be considered humorous to some. But I think it's funny...

Two women meet on the street.

One woman cries, "What have you done with your hair? It looks like a wig."

The other one replies, "It is a wig."

The first woman says, "Well, you'd never know it."

Urban Squirrel Harvesting Initiative

Squirrel Overpopulation in Urban Areas Causes Starvation and Disease.

Local urban wildlife expert Maynard Legume:

"There's too many of them critters around here. My garden is full of those giant rats, and a guy can't grow a thing without it getting chomped by a squirrel first! Back in my day, we ate everything we could find. We would eat squirrel every day and be glad. A squirrel hat for winter ain't nothing to sneeze at either."

Maynard is sponsoring an Urban Squirrel Harvesting Initiative (USHI) that would provide tax breaks and subsidies to those willing to help feed the poor by harvesting squirrels locally.

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Expecting Father Joke?

A soon-to-be father hears a loud noise in the bedroom.

As he gets to the door, he hears: "Don't! Couldn't! Won't!"

He rushes to his wife's side: "What's happening?"

"I don't know. Call the midwife." she says.

He calls the midwife, says: "She keeps yelling out random things, like "Shouldn't!" and "Doesn't!", what do we do?"

Midwife says:"That's perfectly normal. Those are just contractions."