Not the Sharpest Tool In the Shed

Raw Opium Another bizarre day in retail:

I answer the phone, and a woman asks if we carry bulk herbs. She sounds older and talks a little slow.

me: Yes, we have the largest selection in town.

her: Good. I'm looking at an herb book, and I want to know if you have something I read about.

me: What are you looking for?

her: Do you have opium?

me: Excuse me?

her: Do you sell opium?

me: Ummm... No. (laughing)

her: Well, why not?

me: Hmm... Well, it's a controlled substance. It's illegal to sell it.

her: But it's an herb, right?

me: It comes from poppies, although I don't think it's considered an herb.

her: But it's in the herb book.

me: What's the name of the book?

her: Oh, you know, that really good one, something herbal healing, or herbs for healing.

me: I don't think I know that one.

her: So why can't you sell opium?

me: Opium is the base for morphine and heroin. The DEA doesn't look kindly at co-ops selling narcotics.

her: How do I get some?

me: Umm... I think you need to grow a bunch of poppies and do it yourself. I can't help you with that.

her: You sell poppy seeds?

me: Yes, we do.

her: Are they the right kind?

me: I don't think so. Perhaps you should call a garden center.

her: I can't believe you don't have opium. It's an herb. It's in the book.

me: Take care now. Thanks for calling.

Where do these people come from?