I believe:
- Instant is not.
- Democracy only works for the majority.
- A siesta is a wonderful thing.
- Any diet that requires a special shake or powder is not going to work.
- Home equity loans help you to keep paying for your house.
- Saying "I heard it on NPR" afterwards does not make it a fact.
- Spending less money equals a pay raise.
- Tattoos are stickers for adults.
- Lipbalm should be a controlled substance. Everyone I know is addicted to it.
- If you're gonna walk slow, move to the side.
- Insurance is a misnomer. It should be called Partial Reimbursement After the Fact.
- Most things described as green aren't.
- A pickle is a waste of a perfectly good cucumber.

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I belief you're a friend based on your love of siestas and the fact I could eat all the pickles you cast aside in disgust.
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