Hot Air and Politics

Politics is mostly smoke and mirrors.

The candidates presented to the public by each party are not the most qualified, they're the ones that the party deems most likely to win. And then they tell us all what they think we want to hear.

Stupid.

As I read the transcript of this acceptance speech, I couldn't believe how dumb politicians think we are. Not that I believe that he wrote it himself (if he did, then he definitely should not be the president), but still... He read it. I would be ashamed to try to pass off this bullshit.

Now, before you get your dander up because I'm picking on Obama, just remember that it's because I have not read the other guys' speeches yet (I can't listen to an actual speech like this. It makes me feel like I'm going to vomit, so I have to read them afterwards). I'll pick on them later.

Here are some excerpts from Barack Obama's acceptance speech, with my comments in blue:

They (his parents) shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to.

You can achieve whatever you put your mind to wherever you are. The fallacies of geographic superiority and blind patriotism are great (for a nation of sheep).

It is that promise that has always set this country apart — that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well.

You paid too much attention to the revisionist history in school. And one American family? Does that include Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico? I mean, they aren't within the lines of our "great nation" on the map.

We meet at one of those defining moments — a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more.

The American promise has been threatened once more. No one else can figure it out, but you can.

More of you have cars you can't afford to drive, credit card bills you can't afford to pay, and tuition that's beyond your reach.

That's 'cause we're all suckers. Give it to me now. Where do I sign?

America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.

Who is America? And why just the last eight years? What about 200 years of imperialism?

This country is more decent... This country is more generous... We are more compassionate...

This country is just a myth. People are decent, generous, compassionate. Countries are not.

Well, it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America.

It's always someone else's failure, not our own.

We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage.

Perhaps you could consider our fixing our inefficient building practices, financial lending practices, and zoning regulations that stress appearance over function, to provide people with the means to build houses that don't come with mortgages.

I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

Create good jobs for Americans. Cool. How? What about people who aren't American? What about all of the crap we still buy that is made in China? Will you make people buy only what they need?

We measure the strength of our economy...by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business.

I believe that has always been possible. That's how it works.

The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great — a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight.

Again with the promise.

Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves — protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology.

We can't keep ourselves from harm, but the government can. Hmm. And what the heck is a decent education? Please don't invest in any more new roads. Or bow down any further to the great god science. We might try learning from the past.

Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

Define work. Does it include raising children or growing food? Or does it just mean going to a job?

That's the promise of America — the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

If we're responsible for ourselves, we don't need government. Government has never succeeded at taking care of individuals, only groups, and only when it is profitable to private industry.

That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am president.

That's the promise you need to keep. I don't know who this "we" is you keep talking about.

I will eliminate capital-gains taxes for the small businesses and the startups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

High wage, high tech. What about food? We gotta eat tomorrow as well. Maybe our food system could be overhauled while you're at it. Cut out all the bullshit subsidies for corn and milk and commodity crops. Make those farmers grow food for humans, not cows.

I will cut taxes — cut taxes — for 95 percent of all working families.

What does that mean? Like, completely? In half? I'll believe it when I see it.

In 10 years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

You're living in a fantasy world. Unless you mean only oil from the Middle East,

I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power.

He can drill wells, too. Man, that guy's gonna be busy. There is no such thing as clean coal. You still have to rip it out of the ground and burn it, laying waste to the countryside. Nuclear power is only safe from 90 million miles away, and even then it can kill ya...

I'll help our auto companies retool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars.

He's a machinist as well. And he's going to make it easy for us to afford new cars. Gimme a break.

Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable, accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums.

I didn't realize that the President gets to set the insurance rates.

I will also go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less

Every single candidate says this. Whatever.

I guess it's just too much to ask for a candidate that tells the truth. Instead, we get a bunch of bullshit promises based on what they perceive the majority of the people want. Which is counter to what I want.

None of the people that actually run for office should be elected, and all of the people that could really do something positive are smart enough to steer clear of politics and bureaucracy.

End of rant.